Back then, my self-confidence was hovering above the zero mark. I was SO shy and SO insecure about my body. I always felt so huge. I hated my thick thighs and protruding behind. I felt as if I had no control over my body. I used to dance around to music in my room in the dark because it was much easier imagining i was En Vogue or Mariah Carey without having to actually look at myself in the mirror. I never ever revealed these insecurities to my friends, I tried my best to relax and act normal around them, but they were always in the back of my mind.
Now when I look at old pictures of myself, I wish I could go back in time and tell little me that I was beautiful, totally NORMAL and healthily growing up. I wish someone else was around to tell me to learn how to love myself and not to worry about what the people on the television and in the magazines said I should look like, to stop comparing myself to my friends and just LIVE!
Now that I actually am much bigger than I was back then, seeing these photos has helped me realize a lot about myself.

See the chocolate-complected girl with the radiant smile in the far left corner. That's me.
I am sure there aren't many young girls reading this post, but I have a message I want to send to all the women out there; LOVE YOURSELF. Love yourself first and foremost. It is only when you love yourself that you can truly learn to love and understand others. I know it is so easy for thoughts of self defeat to creep in and ruin your psyche but take the time to truly examine yourself. If you truly feel that you are unhealthy, that your size is affecting your quality of life, then by all means see a doctor or a professional to help you work on your problems together. Don't torture yourself needlessly. Just love yourself!
このポストはけっこう長かったので、後で、日本語でちゃんと書き直します、ごめんなさい。。。
Love Oli
2 comments:
Your message really touched!
That is deeply true!
You are the only one in the world and you can only be you but nobody else!
I am happy that I've understood it from my heart and you have the same thought! Thanks Olivia!!!
Everyone!! it is never be late!
Love yourself<3
Thanks so much Kako! It is a difficult thing to do, especially when everyone and everything around you is pointing out the negative. I still am not where I need to be, but I am trying everyday to be more confident and to love myself! I really want to write this all out in Japanese but it will take me a long time and I want to make sure people understand how I feel.
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